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Submitted on
January 30, 2013
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All was well and good for [Name], one way or another. Besides the whole "nearly dying because I get wet over Jake English" incident this morning, the day had gone by so far without a hitch. She managed to get away from Jake and swerve about the halls stealthily, not running into him inbetween classes either. Finally, lunch time rolled around, and [Name] entered the cafeteria with vigilance, keeping out of a certain emerald-eyed boy's gaze for as long as she possibly could. She held her lunchbox tightly to her chest, sticking close to the wall until she saw a nice table with all her friends, including...ROXY.

More pissed off than the giant on top of the motherfucking beanstalk, she stomped towards the table and sat down in-between Karkat and Kurloz, glaring at her from right across the table. Karkat started greeting you in his weird as fuck ways, and Kurloz just sat there and...smiled. Like always. He never really does anything else.

"Hello friend." she hissed, opening her lunchbox and pulling out her Capri-sun and taking the most menacing sip one could manage to take from a Capri-sun without looking like a dunder-fuck. Everyone else at the table looked at her curiously, eager to see an argument unfold.

"What's got you down?" Roxy said, her natural drunken slur barely evident. She was sober for the time being, but she was drunk so often that slur just naturally slipped into her voice. "You're more down than...than a corpse. 'Cause they're always underground and stuff. They're also sort of down because they're all dead I guess, so you're like, really dow-"

"SIIIIILENCE." [Name] hissed, causing everyone to go quiet. Roxy fidgeted in her chair, waiting for whatever was next. "How dare you speak the unspeakable the unmentionable the secretive the loathsome the DREEEEEADDDDFULLLLL?!"

"Wait, what?" Like everyone else, Roxy looked terribly confused.

"You know what I speak of! Ake-Jay Glish-Nay. I think that's how you say it, at least. How could you tell him youfooooooool." [Name] growled. Roxy quickly went from confused and terrified to surprised.

"I didn't, I swear! What makes you think I would? I may be a drunk, but I ain't stupid, [Name]." Now it was [Name]'s turn to look confused.

"But that makes no sens-"

"Ahem. Ladies, gents. If I may interrupt," Holy shit. The holiest of shits. Comparable to the Pope holy.

"NAH NO THANK YOU I AM GOOD I AM GOOOOOOOD NEVER FUCKIN' MIND I AM SO OUT OF HERE." [Name] stood up, turning around to come face to face (more like face-to-chest, the kid was fucking huge) with no other than Ake-Jay Glish-Nay. Before he could say anything, she quickly side-stepped him and ran out of the cafeteria, sprinting like the Olympic gold medals were at stake. She ran for a while, down hallways and past classrooms, ignoring the furious calls of teachers. Finally, after she was on the other side of the school, she slowed to a stop, putting her hand on the wall and taking a breather. Well, no, a breather is when you're relaxing.

Once a large, warm hand covered her own, it was far from relaxing. Silly [Name], what were you thinking? This isn't a spa trip, this is a hormonal teenage girl running away from her conflicted emotions. Could you really expect to relax? You silly goose you. Her other shoulder got pulled back, and just like that, she was pinned against the wall, dark green eyes gazing into her own [e/c] ones. Jake chuckled, using a different, more knowing type of grin than usual.

"Roxy didn't need to let me in on any secrets, [Name]. I know well enough on my own. I'm not quite as clueless as I let on, I'll have you know," Jake mumbled, leaning forward to press his nose into her hair. [Name] tried to move out of the way, struggling against his firm hold. Really, what was wrong with a girl wanting to be Forrest Gump in the hallway? Nothing, if you ask her. But, Jake's grip only tightened, and his mouth went down to hers, just barely pressing against her soft lips, not really even a kiss. [Name]'s eyes snapped shut, and she sent herself on a trip to Funky Town, where shit like this doesn't happen.

"[Name]..." came the breathless whisper. Her eyes opened a bit, and she could tell that Jake was smiling. "Don't hide from me any more..."

Her lips, which had been tightened and tensed, relaxed, and Jake took the opportunity to press a warm, tender kiss against them, feeling her kiss back without argument. They stayed like that for a moment, then he pulled away, taking a short breath after the kiss. [Name] could feel the warm outtake of breath, and just as she was about to speak, Jake's (now grinning devilishly) mouth opened and he beat her to the punch.

"So, what's that you mentioned this morning about dirty thoughts?"

"...Jake I think you need to stop talking."
Here it is! The final insert of Hide n' Seek! After this, I have a couple things planned, including a Dave one-shot, An AU Jake one-shot, and I'm thinking MAYBE one or two NSFW one-shots at some point in the future, though I don't know when. Enjoy, as always! ♥ Thank you all for such positive feedback!!! You're all amazing and I love you ヽ(▰・ω・▰)ノ I'm also taking requests, though I'll close them if I get too many. ^^;

Homestuck and Jake ~ :iconcopyrighthussieplz:

Yourself ~ :iconpervyjakeenglishplz:
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BreezyTheNinjaBoss Mar 9, 2014  Student General Artist
I didn't realize there was more and it was SO WORTH IT! :iconcannotevenplz: I'm officially dead now. You have killed me with awesome comedy, fluff, and suave as fuck Ake-Jay Glish-Nay. You have my praise.
StealthElf Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
XD Your comment made my day XDD
StealthElf Jan 11, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You are welcome! :hug:
I just love this! no matter how many times I read it:giddydance: 
JinxWolfMoon Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
RainbowHeartMae Jul 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
... Shut up, Jake. Shut the fuck up.
MrsTomlinson214 May 10, 2013  Student Writer
This is just beautiful. Thanks for writing!
FlippysMostInsaneFan May 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Stop talking. Like now. Like forever. Like never ever speak of that.
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