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Submitted on
January 29, 2013
Submitted with Writer


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Now, here's a question. How is it that when you like something as a toddler, you hate it as a child, then think it's the most bad-ass thing when you become a teenager? Backyardigans, for example. Or Teletubbies. Perhaps some other pre-school show. But what about Hide n' Seek? Do you ever really outgrow that?

The answer is no.

No you don't.

And what's more fun than playing the spectacular, magnificent game with your friend in the middle of the woods? Well, probably anything.

[Name] sighed, leaned against the skinny tree she was hiding behind and rubbing her forehead with her hand. Dammit Jake. If only she knew where he was, so that she could tell him she gave up and they could leave to go do something non-"adventurous." The only reason she strayed from her dear laptop is because Jake, of all people, had asked her to. Stupid boy with his stupid charm and stupid good looks. For all she knew, [Name's] sexual urges could have a sitcom made out of them, they had the comedic ability. He'd never realize that she had a thing for him. After all, Jake was denser than something really dense that you could find with Google that I don't care enough to look up.

"Ugh, dammit dammit dammit. Screeeeeeeeew this," she muttered, standing up straight and beginning to walk in some random direction, she had no idea where. Just as long as it got her out of the place. She walked for a minute, all silent with the exception of the occasional bird call and the autumn leaves crunching beneath her sneakers. She stood on her tip-toes, looking to see if she could spot the tree-line from where she was. She sighed and began to walk again, until two strong hands grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her back, pressing her firmly against the tree she was just standing next to. She screamed for a split-second, thinking she had come across a deranged psycho who lived in the woods, until she opened her eyes to a familiar, grinning face.

"Jake you cunt-taco!!!" she yelled, flailing meekly under his strong grip. He laughed, that melodious, accented voice flowing through [Name's] ears once again and making her blush with the very sound. Damn everything about this boy, especially the things that make her want to do very uncouth things.

Very. Uncouth things.

"Aw, come now [Name], there's no need to throw a tantrum. All in good fun!" he said, smiling at her but not letting her go.

"Not when you act like you're about to murder me, ya fuckin' dickslappin' Brit!" she responded.

At least, that's how she would have responded, but her mouth was a bit busy at the moment. After a few moments, Jake pulled away from the apologetic smooch that he had started, smiling down at [Name's] small 5"5 figure.

"You're it."

"...I will go back in time to abort you, Sir English."

He laughed again, louder this time, and pulled away from [Name], starting to run away. "You'll have to catch me before-hand! Make sure you count to ten!" She smiled a bit and ran after him, shouting obscenities after his retreating figure.

 So maybe he did know she liked him. Maybe he liked her back? How did he even find out? Was it the hate-flirting? Or maybe...


God dammit Roxy. We are never speaking of secrets again.
Yep, my first reader insert. It's Jake English x Reader. Yeah.

Let me know how you like it, and if there's any mistakes, because my writing is bad and I should feel bad.

So yeah, enjoy! ♥

Homestuck :iconcopyrighthussieplz:

You belong to :iconepicwinplz: or, if you prefer, :iconpervyjakeenglishplz:
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BreezyTheNinjaBoss Mar 9, 2014  Student General Artist
Oh my glob. I was DYING while reading this. This was WAY too funny for me to handle. I find your sense of humor and writing to be HILARIOUS. I actually felt like the reader of this story was actually me in that situation (since that is probably exactly how things would go down) and that's really hard to achieve since I have a hard time picturing myself in these stories. And those insults? BEAUTIFUL. I'm so gonna use them now because I curse like a sailor and need new lingo. I am in awe with this story! :iconamericaxdplz: I'm SSSSOOOOO going to read more of your stories now. Especially if they are like this.
Dat America doe... (ノ´ー`)ノ
BreezyTheNinjaBoss Apr 3, 2014  Student General Artist
(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ yes
ISmellGooood Mar 12, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you!! You're very lovely I just absolutely loved reading your comments and even though my current sense of style doesn't focus on the humor as much as it used to I'm still so flattered you said this and aaaahhhh (/)///w///(\) ♥
BreezyTheNinjaBoss Mar 14, 2014  Student General Artist
No problem. :3
theunspokenheroine Feb 23, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
*is happy because im only 5 feet.*
ermegerd. I wuuuv your stories~
ISmellGooood Feb 8, 2014  Student Writer
Ahhhh thank you! ^-^
Mytom101 Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Who would think it's a good idea to tell a drunk Lalonde a secret!!?? :3
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