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Now, here's a question. How is it that when you like something as a toddler, you hate it as a child, then think it's the most bad-ass thing when you become a teenager? Backyardigans, for example. Or Teletubbies. Perhaps some other pre-school show. But what about Hide n' Seek? Do you ever really outgrow that?

The answer is no.

No you don't.

And what's more fun than playing the spectacular, magnificent game with your friend in the middle of the woods? Well, probably anything.

[Name] sighed, leaned against the skinny tree she was hiding behind and rubbing her forehead with her hand. Dammit Jake. If only she knew where he was, so that she could tell him she gave up and they could leave to go do something non-"adventurous." The only reason she strayed from her dear laptop is because Jake, of all people, had asked her to. Stupid boy with his stupid charm and stupid good looks. For all she knew, [Name's] sexual urges could have a sitcom made out of them, they had the comedic ability. He'd never realize that she had a thing for him. After all, Jake was denser than something really dense that you could find with Google that I don't care enough to look up.

"Ugh, dammit dammit dammit. Screeeeeeeeew this," she muttered, standing up straight and beginning to walk in some random direction, she had no idea where. Just as long as it got her out of the place. She walked for a minute, all silent with the exception of the occasional bird call and the autumn leaves crunching beneath her sneakers. She stood on her tip-toes, looking to see if she could spot the tree-line from where she was. She sighed and began to walk again, until two strong hands grabbed her by her shoulders and pulled her back, pressing her firmly against the tree she was just standing next to. She screamed for a split-second, thinking she had come across a deranged psycho who lived in the woods, until she opened her eyes to a familiar, grinning face.

"Jake you cunt-taco!!!" she yelled, flailing meekly under his strong grip. He laughed, that melodious, accented voice flowing through [Name's] ears once again and making her blush with the very sound. Damn everything about this boy, especially the things that make her want to do very uncouth things.

Very. Uncouth things.

"Aw, come now [Name], there's no need to throw a tantrum. All in good fun!" he said, smiling at her but not letting her go.

"Not when you act like you're about to murder me, ya fuckin' dickslappin' Brit!" she responded.

At least, that's how she would have responded, but her mouth was a bit busy at the moment. After a few moments, Jake pulled away from the apologetic smooch that he had started, smiling down at [Name's] small 5"5 figure.

"You're it."

"...I will go back in time to abort you, Sir English."

He laughed again, louder this time, and pulled away from [Name], starting to run away. "You'll have to catch me before-hand! Make sure you count to ten!" She smiled a bit and ran after him, shouting obscenities after his retreating figure.

 So maybe he did know she liked him. Maybe he liked her back? How did he even find out? Was it the hate-flirting? Or maybe...

...

God dammit Roxy. We are never speaking of secrets again.
Yep, my first reader insert. It's Jake English x Reader. Yeah.

Let me know how you like it, and if there's any mistakes, because my writing is bad and I should feel bad.

So yeah, enjoy! ♥

Homestuck :iconcopyrighthussieplz:

You belong to :iconepicwinplz: or, if you prefer, :iconpervyjakeenglishplz:
Add a Comment:
 
:icondarkpeonix:
darkPeonix Featured By Owner Apr 30, 2015
cunt taco...
Reply
:iconferriluver101:
ferriluver101 Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2015
ROXY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT NOW!
Reply
:iconxcookiesxvsxmuffins:
XcookiesXvsXmuffins Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2015  Student Artist
5'5 isn't small from my perspective thank you~ ;3 i'm 5 exact. have been for three years now and it's sad really. XD 5'5? small? HA! also i could of many other things to do in a forest alone with Jakey-boy~ forget the laptop
Reply
:iconbooxlacy:
booxlacy Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I about died. that was too funny.
Reply
:iconbramblemask23:
Bramblemask23 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2014  Student General Artist
*snickering coming from the 5'8" girl*
Reply
:iconamaranthineautist:
amaranthineAutist Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2014
I'm 8nly 5' 1/4"...
Reply
:iconamberpelt7:
Amberpelt7 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2014  Student General Artist
"Jake you cunt-taco!!!" -God dammit Roxy. We are never speaking of secrets again.- these two lines made me choke on my skittles.
Reply
:iconshannontheinsane:
ShannonTheInsane Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
<3333333333333333333333333333333!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
:iconfirefliy:
Firefliy Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2014  Student Writer
5'5?! Damnn O: That's a whole three inches for me :D
Reply
:iconsolluxwantsme:
SolluxWantsMe Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm probably one of the youngest people here and I'm 5'4.
Reply
:iconhomestuckcrazeh69:
HomestuckCrazeh69 Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2014
lol im probably younger than most of the people here and im 5'2? 5'3? xD
Reply
:iconsolluxwantsme:
SolluxWantsMe Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I'm probably younger than you, I'm one of the youngest on DA.
Reply
:iconbooxlacy:
booxlacy Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
how old?
Reply
:iconsolluxwantsme:
SolluxWantsMe Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
13.
Reply
:iconbooxlacy:
booxlacy Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
me too dude^.^
Reply
:iconshieldedcolors:
shieldedColors Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
But !'m only 4'11"... Now ! just f33l so small and t!ny...
Reply
:iconmara413:
Mara413 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014  Student General Artist
Yay! Im 5" 5 too!
Reply
:iconponydoesminecraft:
Ponydoesminecraft Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2014  Student General Artist
Cunt-taco
dick slappin Brit 
addin those to the insult list
Reply
:icongamzeemakara100:
GaMzEeMaKaRa100 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Yesssss
Reply
:iconneko-scarletsilence:
Neko-ScarletSilence Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Student General Artist
O.O the burger king has my soul? And thank you for making me feel taller! :) I'm 5'2. 
Reply
:iconbreezytheninjaboss:
BreezyTheNinjaBoss Featured By Owner Mar 9, 2014  Student General Artist
Oh my glob. I was DYING while reading this. This was WAY too funny for me to handle. I find your sense of humor and writing to be HILARIOUS. I actually felt like the reader of this story was actually me in that situation (since that is probably exactly how things would go down) and that's really hard to achieve since I have a hard time picturing myself in these stories. And those insults? BEAUTIFUL. I'm so gonna use them now because I curse like a sailor and need new lingo. I am in awe with this story! :iconamericaxdplz: I'm SSSSOOOOO going to read more of your stories now. Especially if they are like this.
Reply
:iconperpicha:
perpicha Featured By Owner Apr 2, 2014
Dat America doe... (ノ´ー`)ノ
Reply
:iconbreezytheninjaboss:
BreezyTheNinjaBoss Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014  Student General Artist
:iconfuckyeahamericaplz:
Reply
:iconperpicha:
perpicha Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2014
(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ(ノ´ー`)ノ yes
Reply
:iconismellgooood:
ISmellGooood Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you!! You're very lovely I just absolutely loved reading your comments and even though my current sense of style doesn't focus on the humor as much as it used to I'm still so flattered you said this and aaaahhhh (/)///w///(\) ♥
Reply
:iconbreezytheninjaboss:
BreezyTheNinjaBoss Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2014  Student General Artist
No problem. :3
Reply
:icontheunspokenheroine:
theunspokenheroine Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
*is happy because im only 5 feet.*
Reply
:iconpokepowergirl100:
PokePowerGirl100 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
*is also happy because I'm only 5 feet as well*
Reply
:icontheunspokenheroine:
theunspokenheroine Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
XD
Reply
:iconspiritkeymaster:
SpiritKeyMaster Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2014
ermegerd. I wuuuv your stories~
Reply
:iconismellgooood:
ISmellGooood Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014  Student Writer
Ahhhh thank you! ^-^
Reply
:iconmytom101:
Mytom101 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Who would think it's a good idea to tell a drunk Lalonde a secret!!?? :3
Reply
:iconnarreta18:
Narreta18 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I SHIP MYSELF WITH HIM....AND THEN GET SLAPPED BY MY MATESPRITE KARKATPikachu want it Autumn Rainbow Bounce 
Reply
:iconayanna-vvision:
ayanna-vvision Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
JAKE YOU CUNT-TACO!!!!! Died at that part
Reply
:iconmusicalmayham:
musicalMayham Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"Jake you cunt-taco!!!" Omg best insult ever
Reply
:iconmojoizu:
MojoIzu Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013
I BELONG TO THE BURGER KING GUY!!??
 WHATT THUHHH-
WHOO THUHH-
WHENN- :iconovariesplz:
Reply
:iconcupcakez55:
Cupcakez55 Featured By Owner Jul 27, 2013  Hobbyist
Barely even 4'8 thanks for making me feel taller :iconiloveyouplz:
Reply
:iconlittle-raving-kitty:
little-raving-kitty Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
i had the same reaction i'm barely..... 5 feet ...... my best friend is 6'3
Reply
:iconcupcakez55:
Cupcakez55 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist
*claps slowly* join the short people party my friend is almost 7feet
Reply
:iconlittle-raving-kitty:
little-raving-kitty Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*nods in agreement* there are 6th graders who are taller than me 
Reply
:iconcupcakez55:
Cupcakez55 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2013  Hobbyist
Same it's annoying *nods also*
Reply
:iconcute-eeveepokemon:
cute-eeveepokemon Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Student Writer
5'4 close enough, thanks for making me seem a bit taller :iconiloveitmoreplz:
Reply
:iconsofiawerewolf:
SofiaWerewolf Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
If only I were 5'5" 
I'm barely 5'1" :iconhappytearsplz:
Reply
:iconprimeverdeen:
PrimEverdeen Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2013  Student Writer
5'9" you were about 4 inches off
Reply
:iconanimegirlj:
AnimeGirlJ Featured By Owner Jul 9, 2013
So close! I'm 5'4".
Reply
:iconexplosivepotatoes:
ExplosivePotatoes Featured By Owner Jun 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My tiny size of 6'1
Reply
:iconbel-bunny:
bel-bunny Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2013  Student General Artist
Tiny? Ur not that tiny
Reply
:iconmasteriesofthegame:
Masteriesofthegame Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hmmmmm I think Jake would have a hard time doing that to me considering how tall I am and all that.


(I'm 4'11) I'm so short. TT _ TT
Reply
:icongiro-natsu-4ever:
Giro-Natsu-4ever Featured By Owner Jun 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
...How do you know I'm 5'5''?
Reply
:iconepicflame227:
epicflame227 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013
awesome ending with the:iconpervyroxylalondeplz: idea.
Reply
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Submitted on
January 29, 2013
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