literature

Music Jam

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Literature Text

[(Implied) Punk!Jake x Reader / 3rd Person POV (I/You/They) ]
[AN: This is more humor than anything, I got bored in Gov. class :U ]

Inspiration was a wonderful thing. Love was great inspiration, and what better person to get inspired than a singer? So, head-over-heels-in-love Jake English decided to call together the gentleman of Sburbian Fury in his bedroom and hold one of their many Music Jams.

Music Jams are pretty much Feelings Jams, with rhymes and fuckery. Normally, they'd be the most fun he could have, but today was serious. Love songs were serious business. That being said, it probably wasn't the best idea to call together all the guys for it.

"Alright fellows," Jake said, pulling up his laptop and sinking deeper into his beanbag, "We've got a song to write."

"Jake, what kind of song are you going for anyway?" Dirk asked, strumming his acoustic idly.

"The same kind of tune we always write! Just, y'know, lovey." Jake shrugged, opening up a word document. Dave and John, both lounging on Jake's huge bed, whipped their heads over at the mention. Dave spoke first, spinning a drum stick in his left hand.

"Dude. Dude. Are we seriously going to jinx this bands good mojo with a love song? Are you going to be that insistent on cursing all our shit with your witchcraft?" Dave used the drumstick as a "wand," making a spellcasting motion. "Who's to say your chick isn't some nasty old witch trying to seduce you into becoming a chicken?"

"The fact that witches don't exist, dude." John cut in, sliding his fingers under his glasses to rub his eyes.

"Look, mate. I know this isn't your cup of apple juice, but this girl, she means a whole heap of a lot to me, and I would be doubly appreciative if you helped me instead of making snide metaphors." Jake shook his head and began writing.

"Look, okay, we have to make it dark," Dirk started, holding his hands out in front of him, "Still lovey, but like, vampire love or zombie apocalypse, something like that."

"Apocalypse, eh? I like that," Jake grinned, leaning over his laptop, "Give me some lyrics. You're the rap artist of the group." Dirk shook his head and coughed, taking a moment to think.

"Baby, if-"

"No, we are not starting off with baby," Dave said, almost disgusted.

"I eat babies," John said, but his comment was all too ignored.

"I like it," Jake declared, looking back at Dirk, "Continue."

"Baby, if you'd grant my dying wish...then could you please kiss my lips...apocalypse..uh...amidst this dark apocalypse?" Dirk looked pretty confused, but Jake took it all in stride, not much for bashing.

"Alright, alright, sounds good."  Jake was about to say something else, until John cut in first.

"What if she's the cause of the apocalypse? Like, she's so pretty countries started wars over her and stuff. Or maybe she was so pretty the world just kind of imploded." Dave turned and raised his eyebrows, shaking his head in a "dude no" gesture while Jake pondered the suggestion.

"Nuclear bomb of beauty? I can dig it," Dirk said, picking up the beat again, "More historical than the Great Depression, forgive my rude expression, I didn't mean that kind of impression."

"Ehh, work on it, bro," Dave said, coughing and starting up a beat of his own. "My girl shines with an otherworldly essence, looking down on these sad little pre-pubescent peasants."

"Tumblr 2012," John added in aftertone.

"Guys, no." Jake rubbed his forehead, frustration etched on his face. "Be serious. Okay, I think I could add in a zombie factor, so like...You released the beast in me, who found a feast in you."

"...r vagina," Dave finished, making all the boys besides Jake burst into a fit of laughter.

"Mates," he began, leaning back in his beanbag, but he didn't get to finish. 

"Her pussy more gushy than macaroni and cheese," Dave started.

"She be queefin' so nasty gave me mad cow disease," Dirk added.

"Butthole cancer," yet another undertone courtesy of John. They all fell into another laughing fit, and Jake sighed, closing his laptop and standing to leave.

"Wonder if Roxy can help me."
I'M A FUCKIN GOOF JUST SAYIN

also i think i might be a bit choppy for posting these next couple weeks, my writing muse has been all too fucked, due to some recent events.

Enjoy this silly little thing, I was going to toss it out, but it's been in my sta.sh for about 3 months, I figured it'd be best off being posting.
© 2014 - 2024 ISmellGooood
Comments11
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Akinatris's avatar
Oh my god, it's simply perfect!